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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
May
Start
Practicals
Applications
Little
Sound
Weeks
Calculated
Universe
Practical
Bang
Bigs
According
Bangs
Science
Took
Calculations
Away
Theory
Wondering
Didn
Week
Origin
Littles
Wonder
Application

More quotes by Scott Adams

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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal.
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Everyone, including skeptics, will generate delusions that match their views. That is how a normal and healthy brain works. Skeptics are not exempt from self-delusion.
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
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In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him.
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Home is pretty utopian.
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