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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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