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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Humans
Internet
Calculated
Sometimes
Normal
Waited
Time
Information
Productivity
Think
Age
Load
Thinking
Society
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Total
People
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Cancels

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Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
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Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly technology is already way more interesting than other people.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him.
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Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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Failure is a resource that can be managed.
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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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