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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
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More quotes by Scott Adams

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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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The best things in life are silly.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal.
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Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.
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The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.
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Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly technology is already way more interesting than other people.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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