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In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
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More quotes by Scott Adams

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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
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I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.
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Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly technology is already way more interesting than other people.
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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