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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Machines
Spares
Exactly
Motion
Impossible
Perpetual
Science
Obsession
Something
Scientists
Time
Machine
Think
Obsessed
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Thinking
Scientist
Spare

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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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The best things in life are silly.
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The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.
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If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
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E-books are impervious to analogy.
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Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
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For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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