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The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Compulsion
Delusion
Hope
Best
Life
Compulsions
Delusions
Benign
Utility
More quotes by Scott Adams
I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
Scott Adams
It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
Scott Adams
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Scott Adams
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
Scott Adams
You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
Scott Adams
For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
Scott Adams
The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
Scott Adams
I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
Scott Adams
I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
Scott Adams
For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
Scott Adams
Ideas are cheap. A dime a dozen, as they say. It's the implementation that's important! The trick isn't just to have a computer game idea, but to actually create it!
Scott Adams
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
Scott Adams
I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
Scott Adams
My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.
Scott Adams
Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
Scott Adams
Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
Scott Adams
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.
Scott Adams
Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
Scott Adams
No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
Scott Adams
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
Scott Adams