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The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Best
Life
Compulsions
Delusions
Benign
Utility
Compulsion
Delusion
Hope

More quotes by Scott Adams

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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly technology is already way more interesting than other people.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.
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You can change only what people know, not what they do.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.
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The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.
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