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There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Seeing
Coma
Written
Keyboard
Best
Quotes
Nothing
Keyboards
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Humbling
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Lists
Patient
Spasms
More quotes by Scott Adams
You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
Scott Adams
The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
Scott Adams
Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
Scott Adams
Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
Scott Adams
I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
Scott Adams
In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.
Scott Adams
There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.
Scott Adams
Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally
Scott Adams
In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
Scott Adams
Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
Scott Adams
Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.
Scott Adams
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
Scott Adams
Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
Scott Adams
If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
Scott Adams
Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
Scott Adams
Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
Scott Adams
The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech
Scott Adams
The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
Scott Adams
Ideas are cheap. A dime a dozen, as they say. It's the implementation that's important! The trick isn't just to have a computer game idea, but to actually create it!
Scott Adams
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
Scott Adams