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There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
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More quotes by Scott Adams
We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
Scott Adams
Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.
Scott Adams
I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
Scott Adams
Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
Scott Adams
If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
Scott Adams
Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
Scott Adams
Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
Scott Adams
The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
Scott Adams
You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
Scott Adams
Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
Scott Adams
I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
Scott Adams
You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
Scott Adams
Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).
Scott Adams
When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
Scott Adams
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
Scott Adams
The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
Scott Adams
The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
Scott Adams
Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
Scott Adams
Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
Scott Adams
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Scott Adams