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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Keep
Keyboards
Always
Geek
Life
Finger
Escape
Fingers
Keys
Computer
Wisdom
Keyboard

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If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly technology is already way more interesting than other people.
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
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Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.
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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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