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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Sex
Father
Jesse
Jackson

More quotes by Scott Adams

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Everyone, including skeptics, will generate delusions that match their views. That is how a normal and healthy brain works. Skeptics are not exempt from self-delusion.
Scott Adams
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
Scott Adams
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Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
Scott Adams
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Scott Adams
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I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
Scott Adams
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Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Scott Adams
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
Scott Adams
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We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
Scott Adams
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If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.
Scott Adams
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There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.
Scott Adams
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There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
Scott Adams
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
Scott Adams
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The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
Scott Adams
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
Scott Adams
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
Scott Adams
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
Scott Adams
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
Scott Adams
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
Scott Adams
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
Scott Adams
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
Scott Adams