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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Told
Probably
Parent
President
Kids
Havens
Haven
Already

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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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My investments have been hurt.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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