Quote

If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.

Scott Adams

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Haven
Already
Told
Probably
Parent
President
Kids
Havens

More quotes by Scott Adams

Image
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
Scott Adams
Image
Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
Scott Adams
Image
Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
Scott Adams
Image
Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
Scott Adams
Image
In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
Scott Adams
Image
Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
Scott Adams
Image
There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.
Scott Adams
Image
The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
Scott Adams
Image
You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
Scott Adams
Image
Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
Scott Adams
Image
There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
Scott Adams
Image
We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
Scott Adams
Image
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
Scott Adams
Image
The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
Scott Adams
Image
I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
Scott Adams
Image
I should have written that down. - Dilbert
Scott Adams
Image
Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
Scott Adams
Image
You can change only what people know, not what they do.
Scott Adams
Image
Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
Scott Adams
Image
Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
Scott Adams