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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Parent
President
Kids
Havens
Haven
Already
Told
Probably
More quotes by Scott Adams
Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
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I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
Scott Adams
I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
Scott Adams