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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Workers
Moved
Least
Funny
Ineffective
Business
Systematically
Place
Presentation
Work
Damage
Management
More quotes by Scott Adams
Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
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My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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E-books are impervious to analogy.
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The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
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People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.
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Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
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Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.
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Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.
Scott Adams
