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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
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Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
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The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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If I had to pick one quality that best predicts success (other than wanting to be successful) it would be the willingness to risk embarrassment.
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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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