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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Science
Faster
Light
Lips
Wonder
Sync
Heard
Travels
Knowledge
Shout
Sound
Wondering
Words
Boss
Speak
Appear

More quotes by Scott Adams

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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.
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Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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The best things in life are silly.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly technology is already way more interesting than other people.
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
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Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
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Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
Scott Adams
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
Scott Adams
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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