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Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Hope
Harm
Credible
Science
Scientist
Recommend
Write
Products
Foods
Doe
Environment
Casting
Earth
Says
Articles
Writing
Doubt
Paying
Every
Dies
Data
Kind
Wrong
Environmental
Weasels

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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
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Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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