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Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
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More quotes by Scott Adams
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
Scott Adams
The best things in life are silly.
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
Scott Adams
Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
Scott Adams
When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
Scott Adams
In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
Scott Adams
Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
Scott Adams
I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
Scott Adams
Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
Scott Adams
Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
Scott Adams
Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
Scott Adams
Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
Scott Adams
When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
Scott Adams
For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
Scott Adams
