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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Copies
Internet
Serious
Technology
Bring
Hard
Surfing
Copy

More quotes by Scott Adams

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In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
Scott Adams
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
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In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him.
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Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
Scott Adams
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Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly technology is already way more interesting than other people.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
Scott Adams
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One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It's a wonderful feeling. That's why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn't easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can't always duck.
Scott Adams
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Scott Adams
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I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
Scott Adams
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Scott Adams
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
Scott Adams
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
Scott Adams
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
Scott Adams
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
Scott Adams
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.
Scott Adams
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
Scott Adams
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
Scott Adams
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
Scott Adams
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
Scott Adams