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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Technology
Bring
Hard
Surfing
Copy
Copies
Internet
Serious

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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.
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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It's a wonderful feeling. That's why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn't easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can't always duck.
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E-books are impervious to analogy.
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
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Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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