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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Copies
Internet
Serious
Technology
Bring
Hard
Surfing
Copy

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Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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Home is pretty utopian.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
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As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
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The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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