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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Deserve
Means
Mean
Long
Believe
Things
Karma
Assume
Assuming

More quotes by Scott Adams

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I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
Scott Adams
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I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Scott Adams
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The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
Scott Adams
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
Scott Adams
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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.
Scott Adams
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
Scott Adams
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Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
Scott Adams
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
Scott Adams
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.
Scott Adams
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
Scott Adams
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
Scott Adams