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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Mean
Long
Believe
Things
Karma
Assume
Assuming
Deserve
Means

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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.
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There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
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The best things in life are silly.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
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People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.
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One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It's a wonderful feeling. That's why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn't easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can't always duck.
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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