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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Guy
Water
Jesus
Think
Thinking
People
Versus
Walked
Horse

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Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
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I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Failure is a resource that can be managed.
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