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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Water
Jesus
Think
Thinking
People
Versus
Walked
Horse
Guy

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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
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E-books are impervious to analogy.
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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
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The best things in life are silly.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
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