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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
People
Versus
Walked
Horse
Guy
Water
Jesus
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Thinking
More quotes by Scott Adams
I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
Scott Adams
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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Failure is a resource that can be managed.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
Scott Adams
I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
Scott Adams
Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
Scott Adams
You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
Scott Adams
The best things in life are silly.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.
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My investments have been hurt.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
Scott Adams
As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
Scott Adams