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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Baby
Changed
Times
Contest
Contests
Beer
Alcohol
Drinking

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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
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The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.
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Home is pretty utopian.
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Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.
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