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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Times
Contest
Contests
Beer
Alcohol
Drinking
Baby
Changed

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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.
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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.
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There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
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You can change only what people know, not what they do.
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The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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