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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Beer
Alcohol
Drinking
Baby
Changed
Times
Contest
Contests

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Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.
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There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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Everyone, including skeptics, will generate delusions that match their views. That is how a normal and healthy brain works. Skeptics are not exempt from self-delusion.
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Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.
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Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.
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If I had to pick one quality that best predicts success (other than wanting to be successful) it would be the willingness to risk embarrassment.
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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