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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Aging
Worked
Knowing
Age
Part
Best
Life

More quotes by Scott Adams

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One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It's a wonderful feeling. That's why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn't easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can't always duck.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
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The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
Scott Adams
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
Scott Adams
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As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
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Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
Scott Adams
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
Scott Adams
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Scott Adams
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
Scott Adams