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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Justice
Attracted
Business
Meeting
Important
Attraction
Strongest
Naturally
Meetings
Staining
Clothes
Liquids
Fashion
Liquid

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People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.
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In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
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In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
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Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
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You can change only what people know, not what they do.
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.
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The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
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