Quote

The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Energy
Status
Directly
Joke
Laughter
Spent
Jokes
Hierarchical
Laughing
Teller
Amount
Proportional

More quotes by Scott Adams

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Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
Scott Adams
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
Scott Adams
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I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
Scott Adams
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Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
Scott Adams
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
Scott Adams
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Failure is a resource that can be managed.
Scott Adams
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For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal.
Scott Adams
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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
Scott Adams
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
Scott Adams
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
Scott Adams
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
Scott Adams
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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
Scott Adams
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
Scott Adams
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Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.
Scott Adams
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
Scott Adams
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Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.
Scott Adams
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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
Scott Adams
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
Scott Adams
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
Scott Adams
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
Scott Adams