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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Directly
Joke
Laughter
Spent
Jokes
Hierarchical
Laughing
Teller
Amount
Proportional
Energy
Status

More quotes by Scott Adams

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The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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The best things in life are silly.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.
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Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
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I think the pleasure of completed work is what makes blogging so popular. You have to believe most bloggers have few if any actual readers. The writers are in it for other reasons. Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn. All you get is the pleasure of a completed task.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
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In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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