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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Delusion
Helps
Pick
Picks
Helping
Best
Human
Humans

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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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You can change only what people know, not what they do.
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You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
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Everyone, including skeptics, will generate delusions that match their views. That is how a normal and healthy brain works. Skeptics are not exempt from self-delusion.
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In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
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For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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