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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
People
Controlled
Insane
Society
Reality
Always

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I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
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The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech
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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
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There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
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Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
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The best things in life are silly.
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
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Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.
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Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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