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Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
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Lasts
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More quotes by Scott Adams

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In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.
Scott Adams
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
Scott Adams
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I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
Scott Adams
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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
Scott Adams
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
Scott Adams
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
Scott Adams
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Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally
Scott Adams
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We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
Scott Adams
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The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
Scott Adams
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
Scott Adams
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
Scott Adams
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
Scott Adams
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
Scott Adams
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
Scott Adams
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The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
Scott Adams
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Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.
Scott Adams
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Scott Adams
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
Scott Adams
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Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
Scott Adams
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
Scott Adams