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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Ideas
Assassin
Look
Assassins
Without
Identified
Looks
Suggest
Take
Legal
Department
Kill
Idea
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
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Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
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Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.
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Failure is a resource that can be managed.
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
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