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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Look
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Suggest
Take
Legal
Department
Kill
Idea
Ideas
Assassin
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It's a wonderful feeling. That's why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn't easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can't always duck.
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The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
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I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
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People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
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In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
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