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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Infinite
Capacity
Approach
Quality
Work
Long
Mind
Approaches
Zero

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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
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Everyone, including skeptics, will generate delusions that match their views. That is how a normal and healthy brain works. Skeptics are not exempt from self-delusion.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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E-books are impervious to analogy.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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