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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Men
Hungry
Life
Cooking
Consultant
Food
Consultants
Teach
Culinary
Talk
Hats
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Fish
Giving
Fishes
More quotes by Scott Adams
For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
Scott Adams
As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
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If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
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If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.
Scott Adams
'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
Scott Adams
Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.
Scott Adams
I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
Scott Adams
There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
Scott Adams
The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
Scott Adams
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Scott Adams
We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
Scott Adams
Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.
Scott Adams
The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
Scott Adams
There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
Scott Adams
Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).
Scott Adams
Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
Scott Adams
E-books are impervious to analogy.
Scott Adams
I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
Scott Adams