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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Food
Guy
Much
Disliked
Pound
Fats
Pounds
Liked
Exercise
More quotes by Scott Adams
There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
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Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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