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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Food
Guy
Much
Disliked
Pound
Fats
Pounds
Liked
Exercise

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There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
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Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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