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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Liked
Exercise
Food
Guy
Much
Disliked
Pound
Fats
Pounds

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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal.
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I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
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The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
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In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
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Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
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