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Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Best
Capitalists
Great
Alzheimer
Work
Venture
Kind
Capitalist
Make
Numbers
Face
Friends
Hamster
Faces
Hamsters

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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
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The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.
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Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
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