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Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Faces
Hamsters
Best
Capitalists
Great
Alzheimer
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Venture
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
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We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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If I had to pick one quality that best predicts success (other than wanting to be successful) it would be the willingness to risk embarrassment.
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
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I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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