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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Several
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Pretty
Sure
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Mocking
Different
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More quotes by Scott Adams

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Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
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In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
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