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My investments have been hurt.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Investments
Investment
Hurt

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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
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My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
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