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My investments have been hurt.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Hurt
Investments
Investment

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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.
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If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
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Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).
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Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
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Ideas are cheap. A dime a dozen, as they say. It's the implementation that's important! The trick isn't just to have a computer game idea, but to actually create it!
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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
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