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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Trouble
Sense
Doesn
Take
Many
People
Corporation
Corporations
Humor

More quotes by Scott Adams

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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
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I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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My investments have been hurt.
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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If I had to pick one quality that best predicts success (other than wanting to be successful) it would be the willingness to risk embarrassment.
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You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
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