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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
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More quotes by Scott Adams
Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
Scott Adams
The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech
Scott Adams
I think the pleasure of completed work is what makes blogging so popular. You have to believe most bloggers have few if any actual readers. The writers are in it for other reasons. Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn. All you get is the pleasure of a completed task.
Scott Adams
Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
Scott Adams
Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
Scott Adams
If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.
Scott Adams
Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
Scott Adams
For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
Scott Adams
I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
Scott Adams
Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
Scott Adams
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Scott Adams
Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
Scott Adams
If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
Scott Adams
And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
Scott Adams
Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
Scott Adams
Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
Scott Adams
Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
Scott Adams
There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.
Scott Adams
The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
Scott Adams
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
Scott Adams
