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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Done
Users
Programming
Computer
Technology
Unix
Trouble
Condescension
Show
Condescending
Shows
User
Find
Sounding

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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
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Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
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You can change only what people know, not what they do.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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