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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Solved
Application
Problems
Personal
Wisdom
High
Cannot
Explosives
Problem
Suitable

More quotes by Scott Adams

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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.
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The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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