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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Problems
Personal
Wisdom
High
Cannot
Explosives
Problem
Suitable
Solved
Application

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In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
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Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
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If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
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If I had to pick one quality that best predicts success (other than wanting to be successful) it would be the willingness to risk embarrassment.
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
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